I have, at many times in my life,attempted to become a journal writer, a wish board creator and meditation master. I want to visualize my dreams, read about them, find ways to always keep them at the forefront of my mind. I believe it would help me immensely to realize my dreams and goals. I have found, though, that I am not good at any of these things. I will write for a few days and then not pick up a pen for another year. I actually have journal books I have started that literally have only one or two pages written in them but I have never been able to really get into the habit of writing in a journal. By the same token, I have not been able to bring meditation fully into my life. I try it for a day or two, my mind wanders, I never really feel like I'm in a total state of relaxation and for some reason, I just don't have what it takes to make it a habit in my life. Then there are wish-boards, I tell myself whenever I see something in a magazine or online, I am going to cut that out or print it and make a wish board so I can visualize what I want.
I have all these desires are in me but somehow I can't quite live up to my own expectations. Am I fearful of having my dreams come true? Am I just lazy? Why do I keep stopping just short of my obtaining dreams and goals? How can I use the tools I know of to really focus on what I want? Am I the only one out here who feels this way?
I am writing this post as a tool to help myself develop the traits I want in my life. I think if I put it out there, for the world to see, maybe, just maybe, someone out there can help me figure it all out. Also, I think I fear being vulnerable and showing others what I really want. I can't think of a better way to kind of force myself into action, than telling everyone what is going on with me.
The reasons I would like to make these things a habit in my life are two-fold. I would like to have something tangible that I can go back to in order to see what I have accomplished. I think it would make a great difference in my life. I have found that I lose sight of things when I don't write them down. I want to hear and see my dreams and goals. I need to be able to look back and have something to help me visualize my goals coming to fruition.
So starting today, I'm putting myself out there. I am considering this post as entry number one of my online journal. My hope is that my struggles may help someone else and that someone will give me feedback to help myself as well.
OK, so... I have been trying to find something, for as long as I can remember, that I can do on my own to make a living. I do not want to trade my time for money anymore. I want to do something that I love and make a living at it.
I want to live in a tiny house. Something I can build and take with me where ever I go. I don't want a traditional camper, I really want a little log cabin on wheels, with a loft for storage. I have never really been into stuff, so I want to purge the useless stuff in my life and live a natural, peaceful existence that doesn't require keeping up with anyone but myself.
I want to increase my gardening skills and learn to store what I grow so it is available to me all year long.
I want to be creative, joyful and peaceful. I do not want drama in my life. I want to live everyday of my life as if it were the last, with no regrets, no guilt, and no shame. And most of all I would like to help others who are struggling to make their dreams come true.
I hope you will feel free to make suggestions, ask questions and even be inspired to do something you have always wanted to do.
This is Allison and this is the first day of creating my life my way!
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